con leche.

Over the past couple years, i have developed an affinity for interesting coffee cups. I actually tend to drink more herbal tea out of them than actual coffee, unless i am at my mom & dad's where there is always a plethora of creamer flavors to accompany the coffee we discovered in costa rica(it is like no other!)

I find myself repeatedly searching the cluttered shelves of savers, antique stores, & flea markets for the perfect cup.

& the people who know me best are often surprising me with new ones to add to my collection.

The first one was given to me by my best friend, Natalie.

The orange Fireking is my Moms that she happily found at an antique store, & the other two are ones i have found at Savers.

for Christmas this year, my sister gave me, among other wonderful things, this beautiful cup that she found at a flea market. 

I predict my future holds many coffee/tea gatherings, for by the time i will have a chance for that, there is no doubt that i will have a unique cup for everyone!

this christmas i was given an abundance of homemade gifts & i can honestly say i love them more than any amount of clothes or money i could have been given.

my sister has recently discovered her talent in sewing & made for me this amazing tote bag!

aside from the print, i think the little pocket she added is my favorite.

one of my favorite gifts my mom made(& my dad helped compile!) is this homemade cookbook. She put in it a lot of old family recipes & favorite things we've enjoyed since i was little, plus some stories to go along with the recipes. It's something i will definitely find a lot of use in! She & my dad also bought me a dessert cookbook, & Meg gave me the vegetarian one pictured.

... & mom made these adorable aprons that i'll wear while i'ma bakin' dem goodies!

She has also recently perfected her art of hat making...& made these beautiful berets which are made with yarn made from recycled plastic bottles. 

I showed up at my Grandma's on Christmas Eve & my six year old cousin, Flynn, told me, "I know what Grandma has for you! You know how you like old-fashioned things...you know, like oldtiques?" It was really cute. So, i walk in her sewing room & she has this amaaazing vintage sewing machine from the late 50's. 

It is in working condition & i can't wait to figure it all out so i can use it!

On this eve of Christmas eve, i'd like to wish the two beautiful people who created me a happy 21st year together as one.

i love you two more than you know.

i often wake up before anyone else & lie in bed while i look out the window & watch the plant spirits as they dance about in the morning sun. It's such a mystical thing, this energy they carry-so real & tangible that i have found that is is not hard to feel connected to a world outside of human beings.

Lately, I have been filling my brain with copious amounts of Iron & Wine & Joanna Newsom (as i always seem to do in the colder months) & have simultaneously felt the sounds pulse through my veins. 

"...the Earth is warmer when you laugh."

Sam Beam says through a beautiful, honest, warm voice.  It is hard to not feel alive when i am surrounded by such beauty.  You know, this season & this dramatic change from warm to cold tends to bring about sadness in a lot of people, so they say.  Autumn & Winter have always made me feel full of life & love & nature & all things beautiful, just like any other season. I  cherish all the days of these frigid months spent cooking at my Grandma and Poppy's, all the Christmas Eve's spent laughing uncontrollably with my cousins as we always seem to do, all the days spent stuck at home with my parents because of ice & all the nights sitting by the fireplace with my love.

i spent thursday & yesterday mostly in solitude. other than the eeriness of my empty old house at night time, i have very very much soaked up & found beauty in my solitary time.

i have to admit, though, that my favorite part of the past few days was 

a)stopping by Nick's for twenty minutes to bring him food and have him hand me roses when i walked in 

b)spending time with my best friend, Natalie, & her lover, Luke.

Natalie & Luke were only to stay for about twelve hours, which is unfortunate, but it was definitely time spent well. I see their love growing before my eyes & it's a beautiful thing. 

I am always very excited about exchanging gifts with Natalie 'cause they are so wonderful! & I was super stoked to see her open the apron i made:

I know you'll be cooking up some corn brownies in that thing, Natalie! ; )

I woke up yesterday craving greek food & decided to attempt to make homemade whole wheat pita bread. & much to my happiness, it worked out! They were a bit more dense than usual, but that didn't change the taste. 

they have nearly diminished now...since i had hummus around, & the infinite abyss that is my stomach.

Nat & Luke had to leave around eight this morning, so I got up early & made some banana buckwheat pancakes & we enjoyed a pretty breakfast together. 

& a lovely morning photo of my best friend & me looking like lil ol' grandma Tori in her shawl.

& nowww...

i have about twenty more hours of things to do before i can say i am ready to give all the gifts i am hand-making...but it will be oh, so worth it.

it's a good thing my sister isn't an avid blog-reader. : )

prayer pose.

despite freezing hands, few visitors, & insane amounts of wind, the art sale was a success in my book.

 ...with beautiful people & the products of creative minds, trading became the majority of our "selling" & i gave the five or so necklaces that i had left over away to my cousins & old friends.   : )

basically, i am happy to say i walked away with some nice homemade presents for the special people in my life & a little bit of extra cash in my pocket for the art supplies i will need to finish the remaining ones!

my break has been beautiful thus far & it has only been two days! i've seen cousins & friends that have been absent from my life for far too long, been surrounded by laughter, & am now sitting in my old bedroom fighting sleep & thinking about my love.

namaste.

oh, humanity.

edit:

Natalie showed me this video that relates & depicts perfectly what i was aiming to say in his post:

the Christmas holiday has been taken over by our consumerist culture.

i can't help but be bombarded by the never-ending sight of people buying unnecessary things this time of year.

this year for Christmas i want health, love, & serenity.

i have been dreamingdreamingdreaming so often & vividly lately, in more ways than one.

& i cannot thank my moonstruck(positively, of course) brain enough for this.

i've been seeing people i haven't seen in years, running around neighborhoods surrounded in water in new hampshire-whose winding, tree-filled, free roads i haven't stepped foot on in ages-, & catching glimpses of my Poppy who is so happy & healthy & naturally aware of where he stands in this world(or another, more perfect, one.)

(i decided to post one of my film photographs that, to me, has a dreamy quality. i took this of my cousin kayla back in late march/early april before she birthed beautiful little Judey.)

my dream world is just too mystical for words.

i keep waking up & lying in my bed for awhile as i do every morning & going, "oh, i just want to go back there, i need to go back there! i want to hold poppys hand & let him know how much i miss him everyday & i want to play with my little cousins who are too far away & not have a care in the world."

my dreams always make me realize-by taking me on little mind-trips away from reality-that life really isn't as difficult as we all tend to make it seem. oh, i often feel like i take so much for granted. but i really do love you & you & you & you. And i know that essentially, my values are in line where they should be, & i know to cherish people & my connections with them & nature over anything material.

As for other areas of my life...

three more test & it is goodbye to my first semester of college.

oh, yay.

lapped chips.

all of my roomates were gone today, so i had the house to myself which was so, so, so needed.

i love the feeling of getting things done alone without worrying about being interrupted/hearing a dog yelp constantly.

i do admit, though, that i feel like tori homemaker today since i:

a) cleaned the (disgusting) kitchen

b) did laundry

c) made a batch of cookies

it was actually quite comforting & i wish i had more days to spend like this.

I used the recipe for the peanut butter oatmeal cookies that Nick & I pretty much made up a few months ago. They're so good everrrytime. & i have probably already had five of them.

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies

1/2 cup butter(i use the light kind)

1/4 cup natural crunchy peanut butter

2 eggs

1 1/2 cups light brown sugar

3 cups rolled oats

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 tsp vanilla

1/4 cup vanilla almond milk

(you could really use any kind of milk/milk alternative, i just prefer almond)

1)combine butter, peanut butter, eggs, & sugar

(i usually melt my butter slightly first)

2)add remaining ingredients

3)lightly grease baking stone/sheet and drop spoonfuls of batter onto it

4)bake at 375 for about 10-12 minutes until golden.

i try to use mostly organic ingredients because it is what i opt for over conventional foods.. 

They really are quite healthy!

& damn delicious.

So, now i must find my creative niche & make a ton of necklaces to sell at next Sunday's art attack!

i am hoping to sell a lot & make a little bit of Christmas money.

 a self portrait of my cracked lips & awkward hair of the day:

I am ready for some dancing tonight at Downtown with wolf-e-wolf!

but not ready to face the cold.

RED

life in shades of red.